I just found out where the SIM message archives are.
I read all the texts. It was like I time travelled to when I was 18 and 19. God, I realized how mature I think I thought I was. It was creepy and funny at the same time. I will never go back to the me before. Hahaha. I killed the sweet old me. I don’t like her honestly.
Honestly, I reread yours. It actually, embarrassingly made me smile and laugh. It reminded me of how close we used to be.
How silly we were.
How we knew each other’s secrets.
How frank we were with each other.
How we trusted each other.
How we cared for each other.
How many firsts I had experienced because of you with you.
I actually missed the old times. I had fun halfway.
The latter was bitter end.
The later messages reminded me of how I ended this shitty on-off “friendship”.
How much you hated us being paired.
How you “maturely” suggested that we would not mind it.
How in the end you tried to get “off-the-grid”.
How I did not mind it.
But in the end I did because YOU minded it.
How I desperately tried to fix the problem.
How much I cried because you said we could not be friends anymore.
How you told me I WAS THE PROBLEM.
How you told me that we should restart our friendship.
How skeptic I was about restarting.
How I told you, “I hope I won’t regret meeting you.”
How I lost “friends”.
How I started to cuss at every thing because fuck it.
How long I waited for explanations.
How my academics declined.
How I gave up waiting.
How much of an asshole you were.
How for the first time I loathed someone to the core.
How I thought you were such a huge dick with no balls. Pun intended.
How I was accused of being an unforgiving bitter bitch.
How I turned 180 degrees.
How hard to ignore rumors about me.
How hard to bury you alive.
How much I regretted ever befriending you.
How I started again.
How I stopped chasing happiness.
How I finally started smiling genuinely again.
How I found another set of friends.
How I “met” him.
How I changed for the better.
How I finally removed you. Entirely.
How one day, I would say to you, with a genuine smile plastered on my facade, “Thanks for being a lesson. I do not regret meeting you. Be happy. Thank you. Farewell, former friend!”
Thank you. Farewell.